The Invisible Maze


Don’t ask me how, soon after I wrote my last post I found myself in an invisible maze. I had to memorise the route (which changed day by day) and navigate my way through a big empty room without hitting the invisible walls, which would cause my head to vibrate. But first, a bit about Denmark…

My first day in Copenhagen was a bit of a damp squib. Whilst waiting for the rain to calm a bit back at the hostel I started chatting to a Brazilian guy. I told him that I was going to see a few sights and then find a pub that would be playing the Chelsea match and then try and get in touch with a friend of Bjorn’s for something to do in the evening. He liked the sound of that plan and the next thing I knew we were out cruising the town together (when the sun decided to make a cameo). Over the next two days we walked about the place, took in the sights and sounds and talked a lot about football and complained about prices and weather a lot.

Copenhagen is a cool city fully equipped with impressive architecture, a rich history, Vikings, a teeny weeny little mermaid on a rock and loads of people on bikes. I wanted to rent one of these contraptions to aid me in my sightseeing, but unfortunately the deposit was more than the maximum payable amount on my debit card so I had to settle with my trusty feet (sadly, attached to my not so trusty knees). I must have walked well over 1000 miles over the days and the old boys held up well. I was there and saw all of the old buildings and tourist sights, saw Chelsea open up a frosty tin of whoopass on Man City and even went to the erotic museum. The museum starts basically as a surprisingly interesting summary of eroticism (basically old pictures of people getting at it) throughout different periods in history. From here you are taken through to the present day via a maze of artifacts and narrated videos (and even Denmark’s first ‘real doll’) with a particularly detailed section on Copenhagen’s prostitution. This section holds the single greatest museum exhibit I have ever seen. In one corner is a little window with a curtain you are instructed to peek through to get an idea of what a prostitute’s bedroom would have looked like circa 1850. To cut a long story short, it is a few bits of painted cardboard with two shop-window mannequins (nipples and pubes drawn on) moving mechanically to and fro on top of each other with the occasional grunt or groan over a speaker system. I have never laughed so hard. I thought they might throw me out. Sadly, they didn’t.

Later, the Copenhagen National Gallery to see a French Master Drawings exhibition (which strangely included Picasso…who wasn’t French the last time I checked). This was great, and the Copenhagen national gallery is a wonderful building. It was here that I had my experience with the invisible maze, the basis of my little allegory at the start of this post. You figure out what it means, it was something about traveling but it seems so long ago now the moment is gone. Copenhagen was fun and even though Bjorn’s friend never showed up I had Bienardo to hang out with which was cool. The city was stunning when the sun finally decided to shine, there was no end of cool stuff to do, but eventually I had to leave and it was another goodbye, and onwards to Oslo. I swear by the time I have finished this trip I will have a sofa to sleep on in every country on Earth! I am currently in Oslo having already spent a few days in Bergen (in the west of Norway) but I am rapidly running out of time and as usual I have far to much to say so I guess this is another post cut short. By Sunday I will be in Helsinki at a friend’s house where I may finally be able to get some of my photographs online for you all to see and also finish my Scandinavian adventure!

Now where the hell is the bus to Stockholm?

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1 Response to “The Invisible Maze”


  1. 1 Anonymous September 2, 2006 at 11:25 pm

    dude thats so fucked up that hoff and martin didnt show, they are going to get an ear full from me… those fucking cunts made a promise to me!!! 😦 Man ill show you the cool side of copehagen myself at one point, anyway i hope the rest of your journey is better…

    -Bjorn


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